The Unified Theory of Star Wars

What drives a man to do this?

I have a theory. And if I’m right, it explains Star Wars. All of it. It explains how fans can love and hate the films simultaneously and in equal measure. Why The Last Jedi is somehow both the best and the worst (but mostly the best) Star Wars film. And it can finally bring balance to the warring factions of Star Wars fans.

If you don’t have the time or patience to wade through nearly 4,000 words, I’ve helpfully marked The Point down below. But I like to show my work, so to get there, I’m going all the way back. Back to the beginning.

Bear with me.

The New

In 1977, producer-director George Lucas created the Star Wars trilogy, and changed the way we looked at movies. This was 42 years ago. Which means that anyone under roughly retirement age today was, at most, fresh out of college at the time it came out. Most people who will read this probably first saw the original Star Wars trilogy when they were a child, whether in a theater or on a faded and worn VHS.

That’s a good age to see Star Wars for the first time. Adults tend to be critical or, worse, cynical when watching movies. Burning logistic questions like “Why…